Insults and Caring
by CStile4Ever
Summary: Drabble, pre-slash. In which we find out why Arthur insults Merlin so much. He wants his manservant to care.


A/N: Well, this was supposed to be a little Arthur/Merlin moment I wanted to post on my lj.............................. but it turned into a drabble, so I decided to post it in FF too!!!

I think this is also a potential slash fic, so tell me if you want me to write it.

**Title: **"Insults and Caring"

**Pairing:** Arthur/Merlin (onesided........ well, in Arthur's mind atleast)

**Rating:** k

**Disclaimer:** "Merlin" IS NOT MINE................ i just enjoy it very much

oh, wow! this is the first Merlin fic I've uploaded, I hope you like it

THIS IS ARTHUR'S POV!!!

**NOW IT'S BETAED!!! By: kathkin (lj)**

* * *

It's alright for Arthur to insult Merlin. He does it all the time, really. '_Merlin, you are such an ____idiot__' _is his favorite one. He makes sure to tell him that at least five times a day, but the manservant just utters a soft '_sorry sire_' and goes back to whatever he was doing. _The nerve_...

It's alright for Arthur to call Merlin an idiot because he deserves it. He really does. He deserves all the '_can't you do anything right_?' and the '_you really are useless_' and everything else because... well... because he has the _nerve_ to be so thoroughly unimpressed! So _unimpressed_ by the young Prince.

And it's not like Arthur _wants_ ___Merlin__, _of all people, to notice him, to be impressed by him, to see him as someone noble and good...

But no, Merlin just _has_ to see Arthur as a prat or a spoiled baby or a stupid Prince. And when he isn't seeing him that way, he's just ignoring him. _Ignoring him_. No one had ever ignored Arthur before. Everyone always cared about what he had to say. Everyone is either flattered by his compliments or upset by his insults. Everyone except Merlin. The _idiot_. Arthur can insult him a hundred times, but he just doesn't seem to care, just goes on and makes that face, _that_ face that says '_I can't wait to finish this job_' or 'God this is so annoying'. That face that makes Arthur feel something unpleasant in his chest, something that almost hurts though he would never admit it.  
But Merlin.... he never looks hurt, never looks upset, never looks like he cares.

So Arthur insults him. He tries to get his attention, tries to make him jealous, to _make_ him care even if it's just a little, just a _little_. He wants to see his face turn from boredom to... to something else. Just _something_. Even if it's hurt. But only to see that he cares, to see that his manservant is affected by him or by what he thinks, says or does. And when Merlin finally makes a hurt face, Arthur would like to be the one to turn it into a happy one....

Merlin has a happy face almost always (at least 80% of the time), but it's never because of Arthur. It's always because of someone else. So the Prince would really like to be the cause of it. He wants to look at that amazing smile and think '_I did that_'

But it's not like Arthur _cares_ about Merlin. It's not like he sees him in a special way. It's not like he wants to have him by his side all the time. Because he really doesn't. Alright, maybe he enjoys having him around just a _little_ but it's not like he would be upset if his manservant left, or died, or just stopped being there. Arthur wouldn't be upset. He wouldn't care. He would just get another servant. Get another Merlin.

But what exactly is Merlin? What is he to Arthur? And how could he ever get another one?

He has never had a Merlin before. Merlin is.... well he's a servant. Arthur has had servants. He's a boy. Camelot is full of boys. But then... what else is he? What does he _do_? He... he makes Arthur feel... he makes Arthur _feel_. He makes Arthur laugh, worry, wonder, hurt. Arthur has never had someone like that before.

Could he ever get another Merlin? He doesn't think he could. He doesn't even _want_ to get another one. He wants to have this one, and no other. But he also wants Merlin to care. To feel the same way. He wants to make the boy feel all the things that he makes Arthur feel. He wants to tell him all this, wants to insult him for turning him into... into whatever he is now. He wants to scream at him, to blame him, to make him take responsibility, but he never will. Prince Arthur will never utter a single word. Not to Merlin, not to anyone. He can't. He is Prince Arthur. He can't feel this way. But he does, so the only thing he can do is, is… nothing. He will do nothing.


End file.
